Keeping Up A Beer…Ances. Appearances. Whatever.

17 12 2010

Okay my puns are really off today. But then again I don’t think there’s an ‘on’ button for such things, and if youre reading this now you must be aware on some level that all of my puns are in fact, off. So whatever.

So, today’s issue is directly linked to one’s ability to maintain social status by simply doing bugger all. Can it be done, you say? Well, I would like to say I was on a quest to find out, but to be honest, that sounds like more effort than it’s worth, so instead I will digress to simply blog about it.

Now if you’re someone like me who knows a million different people, who are in a million different groups and who do a million different things, you’ll be somewhat of a party animal right? Wrong. But, you think, surely anyone with so many people in their life must fall under the category of minglers, socialites, party hosts, charismatic, and my lord can they get the party started! Well. If this is the case, I am the exception to the rule.

Now, having recently found myself in rather a wonderful relationship with rather a wonderful boy, I suspect that my declining interest in party attendance may be seen as a result of this fact. “Oh, she didn’t want to come and get drunk with us, she’s off with her new squeeze”. That’s all well and fair, I do like being off with him, so it would make sense that eventually when my laziness completely takes hold (here’s hoping it doesn’t, however) we will probably be what is referred to as “one of those boring, stay-in couples”. But, in all honesty, I’ve ALWAYS been one of those boring, stay in couples. Sans second person. I’ve gone out to parties, met a lot of people, gotten very drunk, spent a lot of money and had a great time too. But at the end of the day, I was always the one hanging out for the acceptable time to throw in the towel, get some McNuggets and just fuck off to bed nom nom nomming.

Now, disclaimer: I love my friends. I have a great time with them and I admire them all in one way or another. But the parties, lord, the endless parties. Now a party, to most, induces a vision of fun music, thrilling conversation, many lols, and of course, getting crunk. But in my head, these days, when I feel old age fast approaching and my nonchalance becoming more evident, all I can foresee is the following:

Conversation will always, always be catching up. I know entirely too many people and have entirely too little energy or time to see them all every week, and so the best way to see them all at once? Parties. And yes I like to hear what everyone is up to, who had a kid without me knowing, who is a crack addict now, but I loathe telling them my things. “Have you graduated yet? Got a decent journo job? Seeing anyone special? What are your plans?” etc.

Considering the answers are generally “Yes. But no. No. I don’t know.” I tend to feel particularly boring and useless. And I do have plenty of things I could discuss and I am happy enough and so on, so forth, but if I get into any big spiel people’s eyes tend to glaze over, or you have to repeat it to everyone to fulfil a sense of pattern, and that’s exhausting. No fault of the people, however, they probably have heard 50 other stories that night, so can hardly expect them to maintain attention. Stuffs hard! I’d rather just prattle on about useless information and have a laugh and leave out the finer details of my life.

Now. Music. Can sometimes be wonderful. But the particularly loud music is generally terrible, which no one can agree on, so you never hear anything until the end before someone flicks to the next track. Irritating unless you completely tune it out and/or start a singalong. But then you’re stuck in a singalong, and some prat is always going to pull out Crowded House or Oasis that you might as well be at your local pub for. Or, if the crowd is younger, it may as well be that new Akon song, featuring snoop jackal hound face, bopping the latest beats with the most recent girl to put nude pictures of herself on myspace and hence launched herself a career in the pop industry. And this is music I don’t care to tolerate anywhere other than the girly retail outlets I buy my dresses from.

Now, then there’s the evening thing. Parties are predominantly at night. And go until quite late. And include much boozing, squalor, and kicking on. I am someone who works weekends. In the morning. You can imagine the impact this has on my once very close relationship with liquor. Nowadays, I work all day Saturday, then all I want to do is go home, watch a movie, cook dinner, relax. Instead, I often have to get home, make myself look pretty, navigate my way to this party, and then only have a couple because I am driving, so I get to feel myself run out of energy while everyone else seems to be recharging, and be hailed a bore when I pull out the car keys instead of hit the clubs, because I a) can’t afford to go out b) can’t afford cabs and c) have to get up for work tomorrow morning anyway.

But honestly, though evening parties are a terrible drain, if those I had befriended actually gave a crap whether I went out and bobbed about frantically under some disco lights with them, then I wouldn’t actually like them. Party people can go have fun with strangers, and I find though they always try the guilt trip, they quickly forget your absence when strongly under the influence of neon signs and inebriation. So despite it all, they don’t care. This shouldn’t be an issue. The problem is getting myself to the party at all.  This is why evenings can be tricksy hobbits.

Now. Day time parties, they are the shiz. If I can’t go, it’s generally because I have to be at work. So okay, no big deal, not your fault, you’re free of guilt, and the host isn’t angry. You can do nice things like go to the park, cook a meal, sit around, go swimming. And I can get drunk! I have all day to find my way home and pass out disgracefully early, so work the next morning would not be a problem.

So as I’ve trundled through life doing whatever obligation, hobby, study and just general socialising, I’ve gathered a collection of colleagues, study buddies, BFFs, acquaintances, dance partners, alcoholics anonymous supervisors and general every day friends to the untrained eye would seem rather impressive. But the truth is I don’t do anything. I just meet people and like people and then they are people in my life.

My conclusion is that you don’t have to always actually appear to keep up appearances. If you’re friends are good, they will love you anyway. So occasionally, it’s okay to do the unthinkable and click ‘attending’ on someone’s facebook event, and then find this to be a false prophecy. Because hey, you said yes because you wanted to see them, right?  You like them and have the intention of being there. But you know. We’re grownups now. Well …to some extent. If you want to see someone, don’t be shallow. Get off facebook, tune into your iPhone 4 and just give them a call.

Oh and if you don’t have facebook or an iPhone 4 we can’t be affiliated anymore. Soz.

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2 responses

17 12 2010
Stephanie

BFFs call each other on the work phones x

18 12 2010
Hammond

I also, am not really a party person. I’m all for impromptu hangouts with small groups of lovely people but I just don’t have the energy to put into small talk with people I don’t know. I loathe small talk.

And even at parties with my friends (a la last night) I find it hard to have a decent conversation about any real things as it’s the wrong sort of atmosphere.

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